A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?” “No!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?” Again the answer was “No!”...
Vacation almost over. Three more days than we fly. Bitter sweet
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He’d walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud. She spoke, “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Harry figured success had...
Well we’re living here in Alan town and he’s driven our lives into the ground When we woke up we were wasted and drunk Phil got shot we got beaten by a monk I was happy and my life was good getting married like a dentist should roasting marshmallows on a stick I got f@#$ed in the A$# by a girl with a D*@& And we;re living here in Alan town
Solway Firth Spaceman →
Here’s a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day … There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think...
Packing for vaca today. It's a lot of work. Two...
"what you need is a psychiatrist who enjoys a...
hausofcorrie-deactivated2012072 asked: July 31st is our last day. Gonna be in some new place by August 1st.
26andrandom-deactivated20110815 asked: No one leaves...NO ONE EVER LEAVES ME....
Me: You should see the ghetto ass cars here. I mean what is up with the breakfast cereals? Do they really want us to know what their favorite breakfast is?
Indi: I want a car with generic cereal on it.
Me: Tootie Fruities, Cocoa Roos.
Indi: LMAO Extra Raisin Bran
Me: Cinnamon Toasties
Indi: Lmao I miss you. Forever alone.
I’ve been saying “you think you’re hot shit, but you’re just cold diarrhea” for the past two days now. I think people are really getting sick of me.
midwestmandy asked: BOOKS 4 LIFE
midwestmandy asked: Have a safe fun trip!
WTF!? Wow! People need to get over themselves. If... →
hausofcorrie-deactivated2012072 asked: I mean where I'll be living in August.
hausofcorrie-deactivated2012072 asked: Lol, I'm pretty positive I'll survive. Hopefully I'll know where I'm living by that time!
hausofcorrie-deactivated2012072 asked: I don't care about your posts, I'm talking about the multiple messages we send on facebook a day. You're the only one that cares about my silly stories!
hausofcorrie-deactivated2012072 asked: What am I gonna do without you for two weeks?! I'm going to feel so lost.
Leaving for vacation tomorrow night.
We’ll be gone for two weeks, and there will be no internet. See you guys in July!
everyone needs to google 'funny weiner headlines'....